Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
+5
Dick Fitzwell
tatiana
Nah Ville Sky Chick
precinct14
eddie
9 posters
Page 2 of 3
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Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
I think the Doc's quoting abilities have improved tenfold compared to back in the day.
Lee Van Queef- Posts : 511
Join date : 2011-04-15
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
[quote="eddie"]
I was making a joke "COUNT" on it. I wouldn't BANK on it either
Nah Ville Sky Chick wrote:I wouldn't COUNT on it [/quote
To the best of my recollection, all we've had so far of any consequence are a few remarks on sporting topics but I feel confident that he will grasp this suggestion with both hands.
I was making a joke "COUNT" on it. I wouldn't BANK on it either
Nah Ville Sky Chick- Miss Whiplash
- Posts : 580
Join date : 2011-04-11
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
Nah Ville Sky Chick wrote:I was making a joke
Ha ha So was I, but a man on a very fast horse might have missed it.
eddie- The Gap Minder
- Posts : 7840
Join date : 2011-04-11
Age : 68
Location : Desert Island
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
eddie wrote:
Emu/Watson has the opportunity of contributing something of substance to AATU by starting a "Coin Collecting" thread in the Paintings and Photography section, an opportunity he surely cannot fail to grasp.
Errr, I'll think you'll find that some of the most interesting threads on this forum were started by Doc Watson. Unless, of course, it's just a coincidence?
Lee Van Queef- Posts : 511
Join date : 2011-04-15
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
Simulacrum wrote:Errr, I'll think you'll find that some of the most interesting threads on this forum were started by Doc Watson. Unless, of course, it's just a coincidence?
eddie- The Gap Minder
- Posts : 7840
Join date : 2011-04-11
Age : 68
Location : Desert Island
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
I am not interested in any fued , healthy and sensible debate yes.Simulacrum wrote:Gosh, I sure hope a Still Mack vs God Watson feud is impending.
Guest- Guest
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
tatiana wrote:Simulacrum wrote:Gosh, I sure hope a Still Mack vs God Watson feud is impending.
Guest- Guest
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
And why would I want to do that ?eddie wrote:Nah Ville Sky Chick wrote:This looks a nice friendly board
http://www.coinclub.com/wwwboard/wwwboard.html
Emu/Watson has the opportunity of contributing something of substance to AATU by starting a "Coin Collecting" thread in the Paintings and Photography section, an opportunity he surely cannot fail to grasp.
In reality I know very little about coins .I attend coin club , but I have so much to learn and find out . I am a collector , not an expert !
Guest- Guest
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
Neither would INah Ville Sky Chick wrote:eddie wrote:Nah Ville Sky Chick wrote:This looks a nice friendly board
http://www.coinclub.com/wwwboard/wwwboard.html
Emu/Watson has the opportunity of contributing something of substance to AATU by starting a "Coin Collecting" thread in the Paintings and Photography section, an opportunity he surely cannot fail to grasp.
I wouldn't COUNT on it
Guest- Guest
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
[quote="eddie"]
Thank you Eddie for your very generous comments.Nah Ville Sky Chick wrote:I wouldn't COUNT on it [/quote
To the best of my recollection, all we've had so far of any consequence are a few remarks on sporting topics but I feel confident that he will grasp this suggestion with both hands.
Guest- Guest
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
No it is a great weakness in my posting.Simulacrum wrote:I think the Doc's quoting abilities have improved tenfold compared to back in the day.
Guest- Guest
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
Thank you simulacrum , but I think I have started very few if any interesting threaSimulacrum wrote:eddie wrote:
Emu/Watson has the opportunity of contributing something of substance to AATU by starting a "Coin Collecting" thread in the Paintings and Photography section, an opportunity he surely cannot fail to grasp.
Errr, I'll think you'll find that some of the most interesting threads on this forum were started by Doc Watson. Unless, of course, it's just a coincidence?
Guest- Guest
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
SO ANYHOW: there's a nice message board (with lots of traffic) I go to that is centered arround something I am interested in.
There is a section called The Chat Room which is a message board, where people can talk about anything with the exception of politics.
There's very few nuts about tho nutty post do appear now and then. The place is well moderatated...so that if and when they remove something they explain why.
There is a section called The Chat Room which is a message board, where people can talk about anything with the exception of politics.
There's very few nuts about tho nutty post do appear now and then. The place is well moderatated...so that if and when they remove something they explain why.
Old Mack- Posts : 771
Join date : 2011-05-03
Location : Highway 61
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
Is there, I wonder, an internet discussion board dedicated to condensed milk?
felix- cool cat - mrkgnao!
- Posts : 836
Join date : 2011-04-11
Location : see the chicken?
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
I am sure if you did a search you would possibly find one. If not well then you could start your own . There are many things about condensed milk that most of us are unaware of and your forum may well be a chance to share and learn .felix wrote:Is there, I wonder, an internet discussion board dedicated to condensed milk?
Guest- Guest
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
Here's a pic off the Nestle's evaporated milk forum (NEMF):
felix- cool cat - mrkgnao!
- Posts : 836
Join date : 2011-04-11
Location : see the chicken?
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
I had a look there are a few . So at last you can find happiness and some soull mates .felix wrote:Is there, I wonder, an internet discussion board dedicated to condensed milk?
Just google condensed milk forums.
Guest- Guest
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
With cyberfriends like this what more could you ask for ?
So how do you married people handle it when you and your spouse have reached an impass over a BIG thing that you cannot agree on? I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Here's the story. We have been married 19 years. The year before we got married we bought my in-laws house. Small starter house in a blue collar neighborhood. It worked and I didn't have a problem buying it at the time but never thought we'd keep it our whole lives.
Fast forward 19 years later. Still in same house. My DH has literally lived in this house his ENTIRE life and would be content to stay here until we retire, then move to somewhere for retirement. I am SICK SICK SICK to death of it. It is a tri-level and I just can't stand the broken up layout and all the stairs. Though there are only the two of us it just seems so small.
Here are my reasons for wanting to move.
I want to buy a king size bed so that we can sleep better, most nights I end up moving to the spare room in the middle of the night which ultimately is not real good for a marriage, but the bedrooms are so small that is impossible.
I want an attached garage so I can park inside during the rain and winter (live in Michigan). I am approaching 50 years old and just am tired of scraping off my car in the morning to go to work. We only have a one car driveway and I have to park in the street, which can be a challenge when the neighbors park in front of my house when I leave for work and I'm always afraid my car will be hit by someone coming around the corner in the winter when it is slippery out (this has happened so it is not an irrational fear).
The yard is small, I'd like a bigger yard so I can have a bigger garden and more room for the dog. Since it is a tri-level, we don't have a full basement, and what basement we DO have is fairly small, and finished to a family room, so we have basically NO storage. A few closets and a little bit of room in the laundry/furnace area. And the rooms are so small that if we have more than about 4 people over it is crowded. I'd like to start having things like Christmas at my house so that it would take the burden off my parents who are getting old, but gatherings just don't work well in this house.
The neighborhood has declined over the past few years, it seems that with the recession and lower housing prices, a "different" set of people are moving in that just don't seem to care about the neighborhood. We have had problems with kids spraying grafitti on the park buildings, and the city has even had to remove the basketball nets from some parks because the crowds of teenage guys playing ball have harassed the other people at the parks, so they took away the nets so the guys wouldn't gather there. They just have attitudes, like kids walking down the middle of the road that swagger and give you looks as they SLOWWWWLY get out of the way when you try to drive by, or kids that leave their crap all over the sidewalk and yards. And the grass and yards just don't seem to be kept up any more.
I also probably would not feed very comfortable walking around the neighborhood if I didn't have a scary looking dog to go with me, and I like to walk, it is my main source of excercise.
Housing prices have declined over 50 percent and I doubt our house will EVER return to the price it was about 5 years ago. Plus the house is going to need some upgrades/maintenance that will cost thousands of dollars, which I feel is pouring money down a hole. It will not increase the value of the house, and it will not increase the functionality or my pleasure of living it the house. It's just stuff that needs to be done but won't make the house better, like a furnace, dishwasher, windows, new cement driveway because the old one is cracked etc.
So my DH's reasoning for not moving is that he does not want to move any further from work, he has about a 40 minute drive, and the area that we would likely move to would probably add 15 minutes each way to his drive. I am willing to deal with this, he is not. There is NO area closer to his work that we would be interested in moving to, so that is not an option. Other neighborhoods that are equal distant from his work are in the same situation, where they are declining (we are in Detroit suburbs, and as the recession hits the ones closer to Detroit, they are becoming more LIKE Detroit).
His other reasoning is that we'd practically have to give away our house, and then we'd have to take money out of our savings for a down payment for the new house though I am sure we could get enough to pay off the current mortgage, just not enough for a down payment on a newer house. Though we'd make up for some of that buy buying a nicer house that would appreciate more over the years.
His MAIN reason is that he is totally obsessed with retiring as soon as we can and he doesn't want to increase our mortgage, which would reduce the amount we can save each month toward retirement money. We make decent money, both of us are in IT so right now money is not tight. He'd like to retire in 10 years, which may be doable, maybe not, based on how the economy goes. Our current mortgage will be paid off in about 7 or 8 years, if we bought a new house it wouldn't be paid off by the time we retired, unless we were able to pay extra, which may or may not be possible.
Plus our budget now is such that we don't have to be tight, we can buy things we want (not over the top but within reason). Buying a new house would make us have to watch what we spend a little bit.
Mortgage rates and houses are so cheap right now, I think we could get a nice house in a decent neighborhood and still afford most of what we do now, but it might take a little out of what we save for retirement so may delay retirement for a year or so. When we retire is not set in concrete, so who knows if it really will delay it!!
My biggest fear is that we stay here for another 4 or 5 years and the neighborhood gets so bad that we have to move, and then houses and rates will be much higher and we won't be able to afford it and we'll be trapped.
It seems like any time I bring it up, he just yells about it. He is very good at arguing, and makes my issues seem trivial and his seem much more important.
So we are at an impass. I think that I have absolutely valid reasons to move, and it has become a bit of an obsession with me thinking about it. He has valid reasons to not want to move, but he is obsessed with doing nothing to interfere with his plan of retiring as soon as possible.
He has the upper hand obviously because he just has to sit tight and he gets what he wants. I think about moving just about every day and it frustrates the heck out of me. I think sometimes it is becoming somewhat of a power struggle. I resent him saying no, he says I don't care about his needs if I say just suck it up and drive a few more minutes to work, etc.
So other than just packing up my things and moving out, what's a girl to do??? Any advice? [i]So how do you married people handle it when you and your spouse have reached an impass over a BIG thing that you cannot agree on? I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Here's the story. We have been married 19 years. The year before we got married we bought my in-laws house. Small starter house in a blue collar neighborhood. It worked and I didn't have a problem buying it at the time but never thought we'd keep it our whole lives.
Fast forward 19 years later. Still in same house. My DH has literally lived in this house his ENTIRE life and would be content to stay here until we retire, then move to somewhere for retirement. I am SICK SICK SICK to death of it. It is a tri-level and I just can't stand the broken up layout and all the stairs. Though there are only the two of us it just seems so small.
Here are my reasons for wanting to move.
I want to buy a king size bed so that we can sleep better, most nights I end up moving to the spare room in the middle of the night which ultimately is not real good for a marriage, but the bedrooms are so small that is impossible.
I want an attached garage so I can park inside during the rain and winter (live in Michigan). I am approaching 50 years old and just am tired of scraping off my car in the morning to go to work. We only have a one car driveway and I have to park in the street, which can be a challenge when the neighbors park in front of my house when I leave for work and I'm always afraid my car will be hit by someone coming around the corner in the winter when it is slippery out (this has happened so it is not an irrational fear).
The yard is small, I'd like a bigger yard so I can have a bigger garden and more room for the dog. Since it is a tri-level, we don't have a full basement, and what basement we DO have is fairly small, and finished to a family room, so we have basically NO storage. A few closets and a little bit of room in the laundry/furnace area. And the rooms are so small that if we have more than about 4 people over it is crowded. I'd like to start having things like Christmas at my house so that it would take the burden off my parents who are getting old, but gatherings just don't work well in this house.
The neighborhood has declined over the past few years, it seems that with the recession and lower housing prices, a "different" set of people are moving in that just don't seem to care about the neighborhood. We have had problems with kids spraying grafitti on the park buildings, and the city has even had to remove the basketball nets from some parks because the crowds of teenage guys playing ball have harassed the other people at the parks, so they took away the nets so the guys wouldn't gather there. They just have attitudes, like kids walking down the middle of the road that swagger and give you looks as they SLOWWWWLY get out of the way when you try to drive by, or kids that leave their crap all over the sidewalk and yards. And the grass and yards just don't seem to be kept up any more.
I also probably would not feed very comfortable walking around the neighborhood if I didn't have a scary looking GSD to go with me, and I like to walk, it is my main source of excercise.
Housing prices have declined over 50 percent and I doubt our house will EVER return to the price it was about 5 years ago. Plus the house is going to need some upgrades/maintenance that will cost thousands of dollars, which I feel is pouring money down a hole. It will not increase the value of the house, and it will not increase the functionality or my pleasure of living it the house. It's just stuff that needs to be done but won't make the house better, like a furnace, dishwasher, windows, new cement driveway because the old one is cracked etc.
So my DH's reasoning for not moving is that he does not want to move any further from work, he has about a 40 minute drive, and the area that we would likely move to would probably add 15 minutes each way to his drive. I am willing to deal with this, he is not. There is NO area closer to his work that we would be interested in moving to, so that is not an option. Other neighborhoods that are equal distant from his work are in the same situation, where they are declining (we are in Detroit suburbs, and as the recession hits the ones closer to Detroit, they are becoming more LIKE Detroit).
His other reasoning is that we'd practically have to give away our house, and then we'd have to take money out of our savings for a down payment for the new house though I am sure we could get enough to pay off the current mortgage, just not enough for a down payment on a newer house. Though we'd make up for some of that buy buying a nicer house that would appreciate more over the years.
His MAIN reason is that he is totally obsessed with retiring as soon as we can and he doesn't want to increase our mortgage, which would reduce the amount we can save each month toward retirement money. We make decent money, both of us are in IT so right now money is not tight. He'd like to retire in 10 years, which may be doable, maybe not, based on how the economy goes. Our current mortgage will be paid off in about 7 or 8 years, if we bought a new house it wouldn't be paid off by the time we retired, unless we were able to pay extra, which may or may not be possible.
Plus our budget now is such that we don't have to be tight, we can buy things we want (not over the top but within reason). Buying a new house would make us have to watch what we spend a little bit.
Mortgage rates and houses are so cheap right now, I think we could get a nice house in a decent neighborhood and still afford most of what we do now, but it might take a little out of what we save for retirement so may delay retirement for a year or so. When we retire is not set in concrete, so who knows if it really will delay it!!
My biggest fear is that we stay here for another 4 or 5 years and the neighborhood gets so bad that we have to move, and then houses and rates will be much higher and we won't be able to afford it and we'll be trapped.
It seems like any time I bring it up, he just yells about it. He is very good at arguing, and makes my issues seem trivial and his seem much more important.
So we are at an impass. I think that I have absolutely valid reasons to move, and it has become a bit of an obsession with me thinking about it. He has valid reasons to not want to move, but he is obsessed with doing nothing to interfere with his plan of retiring as soon as possible.
He has the upper hand obviously because he just has to sit tight and he gets what he wants. I think about moving just about every day and it frustrates the heck out of me. I think sometimes it is becoming somewhat of a power struggle. I resent him saying no, he says I don't care about his needs if I say just suck it up and drive a few more minutes to work, etc.
So other than just packing up my things and moving out, what's a girl to do??? Any advice?
So how do you married people handle it when you and your spouse have reached an impass over a BIG thing that you cannot agree on? I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Here's the story. We have been married 19 years. The year before we got married we bought my in-laws house. Small starter house in a blue collar neighborhood. It worked and I didn't have a problem buying it at the time but never thought we'd keep it our whole lives.
Fast forward 19 years later. Still in same house. My DH has literally lived in this house his ENTIRE life and would be content to stay here until we retire, then move to somewhere for retirement. I am SICK SICK SICK to death of it. It is a tri-level and I just can't stand the broken up layout and all the stairs. Though there are only the two of us it just seems so small.
Here are my reasons for wanting to move.
I want to buy a king size bed so that we can sleep better, most nights I end up moving to the spare room in the middle of the night which ultimately is not real good for a marriage, but the bedrooms are so small that is impossible.
I want an attached garage so I can park inside during the rain and winter (live in Michigan). I am approaching 50 years old and just am tired of scraping off my car in the morning to go to work. We only have a one car driveway and I have to park in the street, which can be a challenge when the neighbors park in front of my house when I leave for work and I'm always afraid my car will be hit by someone coming around the corner in the winter when it is slippery out (this has happened so it is not an irrational fear).
The yard is small, I'd like a bigger yard so I can have a bigger garden and more room for the dog. Since it is a tri-level, we don't have a full basement, and what basement we DO have is fairly small, and finished to a family room, so we have basically NO storage. A few closets and a little bit of room in the laundry/furnace area. And the rooms are so small that if we have more than about 4 people over it is crowded. I'd like to start having things like Christmas at my house so that it would take the burden off my parents who are getting old, but gatherings just don't work well in this house.
The neighborhood has declined over the past few years, it seems that with the recession and lower housing prices, a "different" set of people are moving in that just don't seem to care about the neighborhood. We have had problems with kids spraying grafitti on the park buildings, and the city has even had to remove the basketball nets from some parks because the crowds of teenage guys playing ball have harassed the other people at the parks, so they took away the nets so the guys wouldn't gather there. They just have attitudes, like kids walking down the middle of the road that swagger and give you looks as they SLOWWWWLY get out of the way when you try to drive by, or kids that leave their crap all over the sidewalk and yards. And the grass and yards just don't seem to be kept up any more.
I also probably would not feed very comfortable walking around the neighborhood if I didn't have a scary looking dog to go with me, and I like to walk, it is my main source of excercise.
Housing prices have declined over 50 percent and I doubt our house will EVER return to the price it was about 5 years ago. Plus the house is going to need some upgrades/maintenance that will cost thousands of dollars, which I feel is pouring money down a hole. It will not increase the value of the house, and it will not increase the functionality or my pleasure of living it the house. It's just stuff that needs to be done but won't make the house better, like a furnace, dishwasher, windows, new cement driveway because the old one is cracked etc.
So my DH's reasoning for not moving is that he does not want to move any further from work, he has about a 40 minute drive, and the area that we would likely move to would probably add 15 minutes each way to his drive. I am willing to deal with this, he is not. There is NO area closer to his work that we would be interested in moving to, so that is not an option. Other neighborhoods that are equal distant from his work are in the same situation, where they are declining (we are in Detroit suburbs, and as the recession hits the ones closer to Detroit, they are becoming more LIKE Detroit).
His other reasoning is that we'd practically have to give away our house, and then we'd have to take money out of our savings for a down payment for the new house though I am sure we could get enough to pay off the current mortgage, just not enough for a down payment on a newer house. Though we'd make up for some of that buy buying a nicer house that would appreciate more over the years.
His MAIN reason is that he is totally obsessed with retiring as soon as we can and he doesn't want to increase our mortgage, which would reduce the amount we can save each month toward retirement money. We make decent money, both of us are in IT so right now money is not tight. He'd like to retire in 10 years, which may be doable, maybe not, based on how the economy goes. Our current mortgage will be paid off in about 7 or 8 years, if we bought a new house it wouldn't be paid off by the time we retired, unless we were able to pay extra, which may or may not be possible.
Plus our budget now is such that we don't have to be tight, we can buy things we want (not over the top but within reason). Buying a new house would make us have to watch what we spend a little bit.
Mortgage rates and houses are so cheap right now, I think we could get a nice house in a decent neighborhood and still afford most of what we do now, but it might take a little out of what we save for retirement so may delay retirement for a year or so. When we retire is not set in concrete, so who knows if it really will delay it!!
My biggest fear is that we stay here for another 4 or 5 years and the neighborhood gets so bad that we have to move, and then houses and rates will be much higher and we won't be able to afford it and we'll be trapped.
It seems like any time I bring it up, he just yells about it. He is very good at arguing, and makes my issues seem trivial and his seem much more important.
So we are at an impass. I think that I have absolutely valid reasons to move, and it has become a bit of an obsession with me thinking about it. He has valid reasons to not want to move, but he is obsessed with doing nothing to interfere with his plan of retiring as soon as possible.
He has the upper hand obviously because he just has to sit tight and he gets what he wants. I think about moving just about every day and it frustrates the heck out of me. I think sometimes it is becoming somewhat of a power struggle. I resent him saying no, he says I don't care about his needs if I say just suck it up and drive a few more minutes to work, etc.
So other than just packing up my things and moving out, what's a girl to do??? Any advice? [i]So how do you married people handle it when you and your spouse have reached an impass over a BIG thing that you cannot agree on? I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Here's the story. We have been married 19 years. The year before we got married we bought my in-laws house. Small starter house in a blue collar neighborhood. It worked and I didn't have a problem buying it at the time but never thought we'd keep it our whole lives.
Fast forward 19 years later. Still in same house. My DH has literally lived in this house his ENTIRE life and would be content to stay here until we retire, then move to somewhere for retirement. I am SICK SICK SICK to death of it. It is a tri-level and I just can't stand the broken up layout and all the stairs. Though there are only the two of us it just seems so small.
Here are my reasons for wanting to move.
I want to buy a king size bed so that we can sleep better, most nights I end up moving to the spare room in the middle of the night which ultimately is not real good for a marriage, but the bedrooms are so small that is impossible.
I want an attached garage so I can park inside during the rain and winter (live in Michigan). I am approaching 50 years old and just am tired of scraping off my car in the morning to go to work. We only have a one car driveway and I have to park in the street, which can be a challenge when the neighbors park in front of my house when I leave for work and I'm always afraid my car will be hit by someone coming around the corner in the winter when it is slippery out (this has happened so it is not an irrational fear).
The yard is small, I'd like a bigger yard so I can have a bigger garden and more room for the dog. Since it is a tri-level, we don't have a full basement, and what basement we DO have is fairly small, and finished to a family room, so we have basically NO storage. A few closets and a little bit of room in the laundry/furnace area. And the rooms are so small that if we have more than about 4 people over it is crowded. I'd like to start having things like Christmas at my house so that it would take the burden off my parents who are getting old, but gatherings just don't work well in this house.
The neighborhood has declined over the past few years, it seems that with the recession and lower housing prices, a "different" set of people are moving in that just don't seem to care about the neighborhood. We have had problems with kids spraying grafitti on the park buildings, and the city has even had to remove the basketball nets from some parks because the crowds of teenage guys playing ball have harassed the other people at the parks, so they took away the nets so the guys wouldn't gather there. They just have attitudes, like kids walking down the middle of the road that swagger and give you looks as they SLOWWWWLY get out of the way when you try to drive by, or kids that leave their crap all over the sidewalk and yards. And the grass and yards just don't seem to be kept up any more.
I also probably would not feed very comfortable walking around the neighborhood if I didn't have a scary looking GSD to go with me, and I like to walk, it is my main source of excercise.
Housing prices have declined over 50 percent and I doubt our house will EVER return to the price it was about 5 years ago. Plus the house is going to need some upgrades/maintenance that will cost thousands of dollars, which I feel is pouring money down a hole. It will not increase the value of the house, and it will not increase the functionality or my pleasure of living it the house. It's just stuff that needs to be done but won't make the house better, like a furnace, dishwasher, windows, new cement driveway because the old one is cracked etc.
So my DH's reasoning for not moving is that he does not want to move any further from work, he has about a 40 minute drive, and the area that we would likely move to would probably add 15 minutes each way to his drive. I am willing to deal with this, he is not. There is NO area closer to his work that we would be interested in moving to, so that is not an option. Other neighborhoods that are equal distant from his work are in the same situation, where they are declining (we are in Detroit suburbs, and as the recession hits the ones closer to Detroit, they are becoming more LIKE Detroit).
His other reasoning is that we'd practically have to give away our house, and then we'd have to take money out of our savings for a down payment for the new house though I am sure we could get enough to pay off the current mortgage, just not enough for a down payment on a newer house. Though we'd make up for some of that buy buying a nicer house that would appreciate more over the years.
His MAIN reason is that he is totally obsessed with retiring as soon as we can and he doesn't want to increase our mortgage, which would reduce the amount we can save each month toward retirement money. We make decent money, both of us are in IT so right now money is not tight. He'd like to retire in 10 years, which may be doable, maybe not, based on how the economy goes. Our current mortgage will be paid off in about 7 or 8 years, if we bought a new house it wouldn't be paid off by the time we retired, unless we were able to pay extra, which may or may not be possible.
Plus our budget now is such that we don't have to be tight, we can buy things we want (not over the top but within reason). Buying a new house would make us have to watch what we spend a little bit.
Mortgage rates and houses are so cheap right now, I think we could get a nice house in a decent neighborhood and still afford most of what we do now, but it might take a little out of what we save for retirement so may delay retirement for a year or so. When we retire is not set in concrete, so who knows if it really will delay it!!
My biggest fear is that we stay here for another 4 or 5 years and the neighborhood gets so bad that we have to move, and then houses and rates will be much higher and we won't be able to afford it and we'll be trapped.
It seems like any time I bring it up, he just yells about it. He is very good at arguing, and makes my issues seem trivial and his seem much more important.
So we are at an impass. I think that I have absolutely valid reasons to move, and it has become a bit of an obsession with me thinking about it. He has valid reasons to not want to move, but he is obsessed with doing nothing to interfere with his plan of retiring as soon as possible.
He has the upper hand obviously because he just has to sit tight and he gets what he wants. I think about moving just about every day and it frustrates the heck out of me. I think sometimes it is becoming somewhat of a power struggle. I resent him saying no, he says I don't care about his needs if I say just suck it up and drive a few more minutes to work, etc.
So other than just packing up my things and moving out, what's a girl to do??? Any advice?
Old Mack- Posts : 771
Join date : 2011-05-03
Location : Highway 61
Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
That sure is a problem . I would advise her to use their savings , pay off the mortage right now.Old Mack wrote:With cyberfriends like this what more could you ask for ?
So how do you married people handle it when you and your spouse have reached an impass over a BIG thing that you cannot agree on? I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Here's the story. We have been married 19 years. The year before we got married we bought my in-laws house. Small starter house in a blue collar neighborhood. It worked and I didn't have a problem buying it at the time but never thought we'd keep it our whole lives.
Fast forward 19 years later. Still in same house. My DH has literally lived in this house his ENTIRE life and would be content to stay here until we retire, then move to somewhere for retirement. I am SICK SICK SICK to death of it. It is a tri-level and I just can't stand the broken up layout and all the stairs. Though there are only the two of us it just seems so small.
Here are my reasons for wanting to move.
I want to buy a king size bed so that we can sleep better, most nights I end up moving to the spare room in the middle of the night which ultimately is not real good for a marriage, but the bedrooms are so small that is impossible.
I want an attached garage so I can park inside during the rain and winter (live in Michigan). I am approaching 50 years old and just am tired of scraping off my car in the morning to go to work. We only have a one car driveway and I have to park in the street, which can be a challenge when the neighbors park in front of my house when I leave for work and I'm always afraid my car will be hit by someone coming around the corner in the winter when it is slippery out (this has happened so it is not an irrational fear).
The yard is small, I'd like a bigger yard so I can have a bigger garden and more room for the dog. Since it is a tri-level, we don't have a full basement, and what basement we DO have is fairly small, and finished to a family room, so we have basically NO storage. A few closets and a little bit of room in the laundry/furnace area. And the rooms are so small that if we have more than about 4 people over it is crowded. I'd like to start having things like Christmas at my house so that it would take the burden off my parents who are getting old, but gatherings just don't work well in this house.
The neighborhood has declined over the past few years, it seems that with the recession and lower housing prices, a "different" set of people are moving in that just don't seem to care about the neighborhood. We have had problems with kids spraying grafitti on the park buildings, and the city has even had to remove the basketball nets from some parks because the crowds of teenage guys playing ball have harassed the other people at the parks, so they took away the nets so the guys wouldn't gather there. They just have attitudes, like kids walking down the middle of the road that swagger and give you looks as they SLOWWWWLY get out of the way when you try to drive by, or kids that leave their crap all over the sidewalk and yards. And the grass and yards just don't seem to be kept up any more.
I also probably would not feed very comfortable walking around the neighborhood if I didn't have a scary looking dog to go with me, and I like to walk, it is my main source of excercise.
Housing prices have declined over 50 percent and I doubt our house will EVER return to the price it was about 5 years ago. Plus the house is going to need some upgrades/maintenance that will cost thousands of dollars, which I feel is pouring money down a hole. It will not increase the value of the house, and it will not increase the functionality or my pleasure of living it the house. It's just stuff that needs to be done but won't make the house better, like a furnace, dishwasher, windows, new cement driveway because the old one is cracked etc.
So my DH's reasoning for not moving is that he does not want to move any further from work, he has about a 40 minute drive, and the area that we would likely move to would probably add 15 minutes each way to his drive. I am willing to deal with this, he is not. There is NO area closer to his work that we would be interested in moving to, so that is not an option. Other neighborhoods that are equal distant from his work are in the same situation, where they are declining (we are in Detroit suburbs, and as the recession hits the ones closer to Detroit, they are becoming more LIKE Detroit).
His other reasoning is that we'd practically have to give away our house, and then we'd have to take money out of our savings for a down payment for the new house though I am sure we could get enough to pay off the current mortgage, just not enough for a down payment on a newer house. Though we'd make up for some of that buy buying a nicer house that would appreciate more over the years.
His MAIN reason is that he is totally obsessed with retiring as soon as we can and he doesn't want to increase our mortgage, which would reduce the amount we can save each month toward retirement money. We make decent money, both of us are in IT so right now money is not tight. He'd like to retire in 10 years, which may be doable, maybe not, based on how the economy goes. Our current mortgage will be paid off in about 7 or 8 years, if we bought a new house it wouldn't be paid off by the time we retired, unless we were able to pay extra, which may or may not be possible.
Plus our budget now is such that we don't have to be tight, we can buy things we want (not over the top but within reason). Buying a new house would make us have to watch what we spend a little bit.
Mortgage rates and houses are so cheap right now, I think we could get a nice house in a decent neighborhood and still afford most of what we do now, but it might take a little out of what we save for retirement so may delay retirement for a year or so. When we retire is not set in concrete, so who knows if it really will delay it!!
My biggest fear is that we stay here for another 4 or 5 years and the neighborhood gets so bad that we have to move, and then houses and rates will be much higher and we won't be able to afford it and we'll be trapped.
It seems like any time I bring it up, he just yells about it. He is very good at arguing, and makes my issues seem trivial and his seem much more important.
So we are at an impass. I think that I have absolutely valid reasons to move, and it has become a bit of an obsession with me thinking about it. He has valid reasons to not want to move, but he is obsessed with doing nothing to interfere with his plan of retiring as soon as possible.
He has the upper hand obviously because he just has to sit tight and he gets what he wants. I think about moving just about every day and it frustrates the heck out of me. I think sometimes it is becoming somewhat of a power struggle. I resent him saying no, he says I don't care about his needs if I say just suck it up and drive a few more minutes to work, etc.
So other than just packing up my things and moving out, what's a girl to do??? Any advice? [i]So how do you married people handle it when you and your spouse have reached an impass over a BIG thing that you cannot agree on? I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Here's the story. We have been married 19 years. The year before we got married we bought my in-laws house. Small starter house in a blue collar neighborhood. It worked and I didn't have a problem buying it at the time but never thought we'd keep it our whole lives.
Fast forward 19 years later. Still in same house. My DH has literally lived in this house his ENTIRE life and would be content to stay here until we retire, then move to somewhere for retirement. I am SICK SICK SICK to death of it. It is a tri-level and I just can't stand the broken up layout and all the stairs. Though there are only the two of us it just seems so small.
Here are my reasons for wanting to move.
I want to buy a king size bed so that we can sleep better, most nights I end up moving to the spare room in the middle of the night which ultimately is not real good for a marriage, but the bedrooms are so small that is impossible.
I want an attached garage so I can park inside during the rain and winter (live in Michigan). I am approaching 50 years old and just am tired of scraping off my car in the morning to go to work. We only have a one car driveway and I have to park in the street, which can be a challenge when the neighbors park in front of my house when I leave for work and I'm always afraid my car will be hit by someone coming around the corner in the winter when it is slippery out (this has happened so it is not an irrational fear).
The yard is small, I'd like a bigger yard so I can have a bigger garden and more room for the dog. Since it is a tri-level, we don't have a full basement, and what basement we DO have is fairly small, and finished to a family room, so we have basically NO storage. A few closets and a little bit of room in the laundry/furnace area. And the rooms are so small that if we have more than about 4 people over it is crowded. I'd like to start having things like Christmas at my house so that it would take the burden off my parents who are getting old, but gatherings just don't work well in this house.
The neighborhood has declined over the past few years, it seems that with the recession and lower housing prices, a "different" set of people are moving in that just don't seem to care about the neighborhood. We have had problems with kids spraying grafitti on the park buildings, and the city has even had to remove the basketball nets from some parks because the crowds of teenage guys playing ball have harassed the other people at the parks, so they took away the nets so the guys wouldn't gather there. They just have attitudes, like kids walking down the middle of the road that swagger and give you looks as they SLOWWWWLY get out of the way when you try to drive by, or kids that leave their crap all over the sidewalk and yards. And the grass and yards just don't seem to be kept up any more.
I also probably would not feed very comfortable walking around the neighborhood if I didn't have a scary looking GSD to go with me, and I like to walk, it is my main source of excercise.
Housing prices have declined over 50 percent and I doubt our house will EVER return to the price it was about 5 years ago. Plus the house is going to need some upgrades/maintenance that will cost thousands of dollars, which I feel is pouring money down a hole. It will not increase the value of the house, and it will not increase the functionality or my pleasure of living it the house. It's just stuff that needs to be done but won't make the house better, like a furnace, dishwasher, windows, new cement driveway because the old one is cracked etc.
So my DH's reasoning for not moving is that he does not want to move any further from work, he has about a 40 minute drive, and the area that we would likely move to would probably add 15 minutes each way to his drive. I am willing to deal with this, he is not. There is NO area closer to his work that we would be interested in moving to, so that is not an option. Other neighborhoods that are equal distant from his work are in the same situation, where they are declining (we are in Detroit suburbs, and as the recession hits the ones closer to Detroit, they are becoming more LIKE Detroit).
His other reasoning is that we'd practically have to give away our house, and then we'd have to take money out of our savings for a down payment for the new house though I am sure we could get enough to pay off the current mortgage, just not enough for a down payment on a newer house. Though we'd make up for some of that buy buying a nicer house that would appreciate more over the years.
His MAIN reason is that he is totally obsessed with retiring as soon as we can and he doesn't want to increase our mortgage, which would reduce the amount we can save each month toward retirement money. We make decent money, both of us are in IT so right now money is not tight. He'd like to retire in 10 years, which may be doable, maybe not, based on how the economy goes. Our current mortgage will be paid off in about 7 or 8 years, if we bought a new house it wouldn't be paid off by the time we retired, unless we were able to pay extra, which may or may not be possible.
Plus our budget now is such that we don't have to be tight, we can buy things we want (not over the top but within reason). Buying a new house would make us have to watch what we spend a little bit.
Mortgage rates and houses are so cheap right now, I think we could get a nice house in a decent neighborhood and still afford most of what we do now, but it might take a little out of what we save for retirement so may delay retirement for a year or so. When we retire is not set in concrete, so who knows if it really will delay it!!
My biggest fear is that we stay here for another 4 or 5 years and the neighborhood gets so bad that we have to move, and then houses and rates will be much higher and we won't be able to afford it and we'll be trapped.
It seems like any time I bring it up, he just yells about it. He is very good at arguing, and makes my issues seem trivial and his seem much more important.
So we are at an impass. I think that I have absolutely valid reasons to move, and it has become a bit of an obsession with me thinking about it. He has valid reasons to not want to move, but he is obsessed with doing nothing to interfere with his plan of retiring as soon as possible.
He has the upper hand obviously because he just has to sit tight and he gets what he wants. I think about moving just about every day and it frustrates the heck out of me. I think sometimes it is becoming somewhat of a power struggle. I resent him saying no, he says I don't care about his needs if I say just suck it up and drive a few more minutes to work, etc.
So other than just packing up my things and moving out, what's a girl to do??? Any advice?
Then with the money you save plus the superannuation he will get when he retires he could then retire as soon as possible. Maybe be others more finasncially astute than me might have better ideas , but I retired at age 60 with no outstanding debts and am better of financially then I have ever been.
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Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
What does this have to do with the price of fish?Yakima Canutt wrote:
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Re: Does The Ideal Internet Forum Exist Anywhere ?
I actually believe that because you wrote it !!pinhedz wrote:I post, therefore I care.
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