Happy Birthday Constance

Warhol's Mao with additional bullet hole provided by Dennis Hopper.

Hey Constance...your profile says you were born on Christmas day

I might be offline for a few weeks so I'll take this opportunity to wish you a wonderful birthday.



THE SHEEP
Sheep are the good samaritans of the Chinese zodiac. They are gentle mannered and on the shy side. Being very sincere they are easily taken by a sob story. Sheep people are compassionate,understanding of others' faults, and quick to forgive.

Sheep like to set their own hours and will not tolerate too much discipline. They cannot work well under pressure and must be allowed to do things at their own speed. Sheep need somebody to discipline them, though, in order to utilize their talents. They usually find someone to look after and care for them.

Good fortune smiles upon the sheep. They benefit from wills and inheritances. Even in the roughest of times, the Sheep always acquire the basic needs. Sheep get their own way without force or violence.

Sheep never come right out and discuss what's bothering them. You pry it out of them bit by bit. When all else fails, yell at them, and bang things around. They should be impressed and might unfold all their secret woes; then, you can clear the air. The Sheep are family people. They never forget anyone's birthday. Sheep worry, too. They want others to cheer them up and tell them everything will be okay.

Ugly things will depress Sheep. They hate to displease anyone especially their loved ones. They will edge around an issue rather than take a firm stand. Difficulties are a delicate issue with Sheep. They are very sensitive.

Romance is a part of the Sheep's being. Moonlight and roses, soft music and candlelight will get them every time. They tend to view the world through rose-colored glasses. Sheep do not usually have to work hard. Good things just happen naturally. They need bright, airy surroundings and excel in creative fields. Appreciation of their talents make Sheep glow, and with encouragement, they can go far in life.

How lovely to be remembered! Thank you Eddie and moonie!

I'll write more later. I've got to get Julia out of bed in two minutes and ready for the school bus.

Happy Birthday!!!!

Thanks, La Rue!

We celebrated Julia's 9th birthday on the 15th. The day before we made a big sheet of brownies, cut them into 24 pieces, bagged each up, and got them ready for her to take to school the next day.

On her birthday she asked me, "Does my birth family remember me?" Cuts to the heart. Occasionally she will ask, "Why didn't my birth mother want me...why did she leave me in a train station?"

What must it feel like to know you were abandonned as a child?

Madeleine and Elisabeth have never asked questions and express no interest in their birth families, but Julia is different.

I tell her that of course her birth family loved her and wanted to keep her but that they couldn't. The standard story of adoptive families from China. And it is what most adoptive parents believe. But I am in the minority. I think the birth families were callous to leave the children. Perhaps the mothers were coerced by inlaws or the husband. But by and large, I hold them all accountable for giving up their children.

blue moon wrote:I might be offline for a few weeks

Work, huh? The curse of the drinking classes. I'll miss you.

I too am a sheep, but I must be a black one because I'm neither family-oriented nor particularly forgiving on a bad day. Hamlet must have been a sheep.

Happy Birthday Constance, hope you have a lovely day x

Happy Birthday Constance

And merry Christmas to you an everybody else

Today's the big day, Constance. Hope you get TWO lots of prezzies.

Vera Cruz wrote:Happy Birthday Constance

And merry Christmas to you an everybody else

Thank you, Vera!

And let me say, I faithfully read and always enjoy your posts!

Nah Ville Sky Chick wrote:Happy Birthday Constance, hope you have a lovely day x

Thank you, Nash! I hope you had a nice Christmas!

eddie wrote:Today's the big day, Constance. Hope you get TWO lots of prezzies.

Thank you, Eddie, my dear friend!

Last night we walked over to my mother's house around 6 pm, the five of us on the sidewalk with the dog pulling on the leash. We felt bad about leaving the bird home but we left the lights on for him. My mother lives alone and does very well for herself at 85 yrs old. She is very into Christmas and wanted to make a nice evening. She had ordered food from catalogues, things that needed little prepartion--a smoked turkey breast, a ham, mac and cheese that just needed to go in the oven. She laid a tablecloth and put up candles. I was very happy that we were able to be a family there for her and give her a nice Christmas. After I cleaned up the dinner we opened presents and she had wrapped the most thoughtful things for everyone. She gave Tom a grey sweater, a hardback volume of poetry for me, and age-appropriate books for the girls. We gave her at books--she is a retired art teacher--and the girls gave her goodnight hugs, the most important thing. When we got home Julia and I got in bed and watched silly animal videos on youtube--a cockatiel singing Happy Birthday, an African Grey mimicking the telephone, birds playing with cats, poodles swimming across swimming pools. The girls woke up in the dark this morning to get their presents. Julia still believes in Santa and was impressed that Santa ate the cookie she had left for him. The kids were very lucky with their presents this year.Madeleine got a tablet but she paid for half of it from her earnings from her library job. It was still expensive. Elisabeth got the clothes she picked out for herself at the store a month ago. Julia had written a letter for Santa saying she wanted a French grammar book (not kidding), a DVD player and a book about the continents. I had qualms about the DVD player but I found one for $50 on amazon. Tom made the girls breakfast and we went to 10:30 mass. Then at noon we picked up my mother and drove to Tom's mother's assisted living place. It is like a resort. She is 93 yrs old and burning through her money. She only has a few years left of cash to stay where she is. So... Tom's sister doesn't drive and every other week I pick her up in Newburg and bring her to Starr's to stay a few days to help with laundry and just be company. So I had driven her on Thursday. So there were 8 of us in the dining room. The teenagers who had to work on Christmas were very cheerful. Elisabeth had duck. She was very excited about it.. The rest of us had roast beef and Tom had fish. The mothers talked about the second world war as usual, they talked about the royal family(!!!) and the plight of Princess Diana. I told Diana, a recovering alcoholic, to read Judy Collins' bio. The two old ladies tottered off to the ladies room and Diana and I waited for them while Tom got the car. While we were waiting, a young woman who worked there asked me if the girls were adopted. She told me that she and her husband couldn't have children and I told her to contact my agency. The waiting time for China is a staggering three years now. The Chinese are pretending that the're running out of babies but they are just trying to save face over the baby problem. Maybe the woman and her husband can go to the former USSR. Some countries have programs. We dropped my mother off and came home to the dog and bird and each girl went somewhere to pursue electronic dreams. If anyone wants anything to eat they have to get Tom to prepare it. I am reading Jeannette Wall's new book "Half Broke Horses." I highly recommend her autobiography of growing up with very strange parents called "The Glass Castle." I am upstairs with Julia while she plays a computer game and sings "Deck the Halls." Signing off a 7:15!

Constance wrote:I am upstairs with Julia while she plays a computer game and sings "Deck the Halls." Signing off a 7:15!

José Agustín Goytisolo wrote this poem for his daughter


Words for Julia

Tú no puedes volver atrás / You cannot turn back
porque la vida ya te empuja / because life's pushing you
como un aullido interminable. / like a never-ending howl.

Hija mía, es mejor vivir / My daughter, it's better to live
con la alegría de los hombres, / with the happiness of mankind,
que llorar ante el muro ciego. / than to cry before the blind wall.

Te sentirás acorralada, / You will feel cornered,
te sentirás perdida o sola, / you will feel lost or lonely,
tal vez querrás no haber nacido. / maybe you'll wish you hadn't been born.

Yo sé muy bien que te dirán / I know very well they will tell you
que la vida no tiene objeto, / that there is no object to life,
que es un asunto desgraciado. / that it is an unfortunate affair.

Entonces siempre acuérdate / Then always remember
de lo que un día yo escribí / what I wrote one day
pensando en ti como ahora pienso. / thinking of you as I am now thinking.

Un hombre solo, una mujer / A man alone, a woman,
así tomados, de uno en uno, / taken like that, one by one,
son como polvo, no son nada. / are like dust, are nothing.

Pero yo cuando te hablo a ti, / But when I talk to you,
cuando te escribo estas palabras, / when I write these words for you,
pienso también en otros hombres. / I also think of other people.

Tu destino está en los demás, / Your destiny is in others,
tu futuro es tu propia vida, / your future is your own life,
tu dignidad es la de todos. / your dignity is that of everybody.

Otros esperan que resistas, / Others expect you to resist,
que les ayude tu alegría, / your happiness to help them,
tu canción entre sus canciones. / your song among their songs.

Entonces siempre acuérdate / Then always remember
de lo que un día yo escribí / what I wrote one day
pensando en ti como ahora pienso. / thinking of you as I am now thinking.

Nunca te entregues ni te apartes / Never give up or halt
junto al camino, nunca digas / by the road, never say
no puedo más y aquí me quedo. / I can't take it any more and here I stop.

La vida es bella, tú verás / Life is beautiful, you will see
cómo a pesar de los pesares / how in spite of the sorrows
tendrás amor, tendrás amigos. / you'll have love, you'll have friends.

Por lo demás no hay elección / For the rest there is no choice
y este mundo tal como es / and this world as it is
será todo tu patrimonio. / will be all your patrimony.

Perdóname, no sé decirte / Forgive me, I do not know
nada más, pero tú comprende / what more to say, but you understand
que yo aún estoy en el camino. / that I am still on my way.

Y siempre siempre acuérdate / And always, always, remember
de lo que un día yo escribí / what I wrote one day
pensando en ti como ahora pienso. / thinking of you like I am now thinking.

Vera, thank you for reading my long post, and thank you for the poem! I will show it to Julia when we go online together after dinner.

And thank you for the beautiful audio. Breathtaking! I was able to follow the words on the page along with the singer.

A very moving poem and song, a million thanks!

Glad you liked it

Happy belated birthday Constance....and happy New Year as well

Constance wrote:
I am reading Jeannette Wall's new book "Half Broke Horses." I highly recommend her autobiography of growing up with very strange parents called "The Glass Castle."

I recently read both of these books and highly recommend them also. Half Broke Horses gives a bit of insight into the influences on Jeannette's mom while growing up, and somewhat sheds light on her later parenting skills that Jeannette writes about in The Glass Castle.

I agree, tigerlily! Both of them are amazing books. I've read The Glass Castle twice.

happy belated birthday Constance
may you have many many more.....

Constance wrote:Thanks, La Rue!

We celebrated Julia's 9th birthday on the 15th. The day before we made a big sheet of brownies, cut them into 24 pieces, bagged each up, and got them ready for her to take to school the next day.

On her birthday she asked me, "Does my birth family remember me?" Cuts to the heart. Occasionally she will ask, "Why didn't my birth mother want me...why did she leave me in a train station?"

What must it feel like to know you were abandonned as a child?

Madeleine and Elisabeth have never asked questions and express no interest in their birth families, but Julia is different.

I tell her that of course her birth family loved her and wanted to keep her but that they couldn't. The standard story of adoptive families from China. And it is what most adoptive parents believe. But I am in the minority. I think the birth families were callous to leave the children. Perhaps the mothers were coerced by inlaws or the husband. But by and large, I hold them all accountable for giving up their children.

Constance i might know what it is like
we have similar questions here occasionally,
except this is from the child of an overdose victim...same question...didn't the parent love me enough?

Thank you for the birthday wishes tigerlily and tats!

I had one glass of wine on xmas eve, one glass on Christmas Day, and nothing on New Year's Eve or day.

I'm not trying to be particularly abstemious. Just not into the taste anymore. 6 months of this.Oh, I'll take a sip from Tom's glass from time to time but don't want my own glass. My two glasses at Christmas were unusual Oh yes, had one on Thanksgiving,too.

Glad to lose the calories.

Hello Constance. I'm sorry this greeting is so late, but I hope you had a lovely birthday.

I've read your posts ^^ and I want you to know you have my heartfelt respect for making a loving home for your daughters. Many kids who remain in families where they aren't wanted go through life with the unshakeable feeling of being unwanted and unworthy clinging to them like mould...that will never happen to your girls.

...and merry Christmas , and a very happy new year

Thank you, Moonie! My husband and I are the lucky ones.

Glad to see you back at ATU. Hope your two week respite went well!