Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  Yakima Canutt on Sat Dec 17, 2011 7:41 pm

Rev. Dr. Iyanla (pronounced E-Yan-La) Vanzant likes to call herself "just an ordinary person." She loves to shop at Pottery Barn's most hated rival. She is a depraved "Law and Order: Criminal Intent: Cincinnati" fan fiction obsessive. She has never missed an episode of Today's Slop Chef Hoarder Wives and she is greatly grieved over Boo Radley III leaving a television talent show.

On Sundays she organizes her shed which includes ironing envelopes and steamer tramps. In her spare time she is a master Tom Brokaw scrapbook maker and an avid Tom Brokaw scrapbook supply shopper. She goes out in the yellow snow to make sure the birds with avian AIDS have wholesome food in their feeders and when her friends know she is cooking, they drop and shatter their unconvincing fugazi Faberge Eggos to rush over and smell Iyanla's fucking food. Sniff-sniff go the eager beaver friendsters. And while she loves to do the things that ordi-nary people do, Iyanla has proven herself to be somewhat . . . .err . . . uh ... hmm . . ... well ... . . Extra-Ordinary. Some say she might be building a fighting force of extra-ordinary magnitude. Does she have our gratitude? Ask your florist.

Motherless at 6 days. Raped at age 9. Prostituted at 10. A mother at 11. The mother of 3 by age 12. Coerced into Clown College at 12 and three quarters. Married and beaten with pastel wooden clogs from age 13 to 31. A maritime law school graduate at some point. A publishing force with 15 titles, including 5 New York Times Best-Sellers throughout her 40s and an admired 79 issue run of Marvel's exciting Ghost Rider comic serial.

Many ordinary people cannot tell tales of tragedy, struggle, strength, cod, courage and triumph in the same way Iyanla Vanzant can. Much of what she has seen, heard and lived through would have devastated the ordinary person. Through her life's experiences Iyanla has uncovered her life's purpose, discovered the power that lies within soul, recovered her cultural and her spiritual self, to emerge shining like foil, sharing her stories, her gifts, her bunions, her discoveries, her wax tadpoles and her love with the world and Mexico.

"What I have learned from all of the difficulties in my own life is that human beings have very thick skin. I call that skin, spirit, our Highest Most Powerful Brain Terrapin. High-level Spirit Math is the key to everything we desire. It is our pleather-proofing, our Teflon, our line of credit, our Rae Dawn Chong that assures if we just keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day; there will be a miraculous payoff or possibly we fall into crocodile pit, egads."
This video contains content from NBC Universal, who has blocked it on copyright grounds. Sorry about that.

This video contains content from NBC Universal, who has blocked it on copyright grounds. Sorry about that.

In 1988 with seemingly little notice, Iyanla's path to working with man's law unfolded to become a divine appointment of working with and teaching with Spiritual Algebra. This shift gave birth to her work of service in the form of the Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Development and Interior Visions Development. In the form of classes, workshops, lectures, improvisational archery and best-selling bookmarks..... Iyanla began to share her intimate knowledge, experience and sincere lust for the beauty and power of Spiritual Algebra and Soul Success.

"My burning desire is for people to know who they are from the inside out and to use that knowledge to create the life they desire and deserve, like imported lotion dispensers in a teak-filthy patio.. I believe my purpose in life is to facilitate the evolution of humanity, it's not just Humanity 2.0 ... it's Humanity 2 point Grow. As we learn to align our being and thinking with the principles of Foil Spirit and Heart Logarithms, we become a divine expression and experience of livin large and in charge. Look at me, I like luxury. I don't drive the shifter car, no I attain the automatic, don't give me a shifter, I like luxury.”

Most ordinary people do not have a Master's Degree in Spiritual Math (University of Van Nuys Xtension) 2 Honorary Degrees (City University of Teaneck Hollow and Bake Forest), a Greabody Commendation Plaque, an NAACP Image Ribbon, a Rosa Parks Wristband (Southern Christian Leadership Pow-Wow), a People's Choice Runner-Up Pendant or the keys and honorary citizenship to Five Mongolian Villages. Your average and ordinary person has not been hailed as one of Dame Halle Berry's five "Shadical Sheroes" (Glamournik Magazine 2006); one of the country's most influential Afcan Mercans (Chocolate Princess Magazine 2004); among the world's most 10 Influential Women (HERstory Magazine 2003); the "most dynamic speaker since Saladin" (Emerging Nubian Excellence Glossy Magazine 2000).

Iyanla may like to call herself ordinary, however, if you have ever heard her speak at the Essence Music Festival; been her client on the NBC daytime drama, Startin Over, watched her on The Opah Winfrey show or A View, seen Al Roker's spittle drip down her face at glacial pace; or listened to her on The Tom Joyner Sexperience, The Michael Baisden Proper Show or Steve Harvey's Go-Time at the Newpollo, or Deez Nutz in tha Sarcofogus Yall Kno I Be Wilin Morning Wake-Up Programme... you really do know better.

Iyanla is a Spiritual Assassin. She is a Mindgineer. She is a woman of passion, mostly clear vision and purpose, with a crass Belgian sense of humor. Ordinary? Maybe. We think Dr. Maya Angelou's description is much more appropriate. Iyanla is, by many accounts, a Dino-saur Woman riding a Cloud of Mottled Foam forever searching for Discontinued Flavours of Power-Ade Beverage!$!

For Interviews and Speaking Engagements Contact:
IVscheduling@innervisionsww.com


Testimonials
"I am happy to know there is a new book. I have been following you since, In The Meantime. Thank you so much for sharing your lessons with all of us. I am truly grateful to have you as a Teacher for me. Be Blessed and I wish you continued
success on your journey. Peace and love my terrapin algebra foil methodical footsteps sister from a different mister. "

"OMGOODNESS!! Let me testify!!! I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOR THE LIFE LINE Iyanla carries!!! PS . . . and if people look like they doubt you . . . .CLOSE YOUR EYES AND THEY WILL EVAPORATE INTO OBLIVION.
PSS . . . When you have a vision stand for it stand in it EVEN if you have to stand by yourself, undaunted by the weird necromancy of the Hindu Kush monkey men ... just because you can but also for the greater glory of Macedonia... Powerful. . . and I still heal for real like Seal!"

"The original amazing woman! Thank you for being you and for letting me be the me I deserve!"



Last edited by user on Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:25 pm; edited 30 times in total

Yakima Canutt

Posts : 8339
Join date : 2011-04-11

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  pinhedz on Mon Dec 19, 2011 10:53 am

He should he had a few stunts, but if he could really dance he wouldn't need those girls on stage to distract attention from his limitations. Razz

pinhedz
Schrödinger's Hepcat

Posts : 11694
Join date : 2011-04-11
Location : DC

http://www.balalaika.org/

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  Yakima Canutt on Fri Nov 02, 2012 9:10 pm

Speaking of limitations, remember when Kool Keith, under altered ego BLACK ELVIS TOASTER, released a three week long remix of HALF-SHARKALLIGATOR / HALF FLAN? Well, I guess there's no "I" in "Team Spirit" - just ask Goat Smith. NOT.


Yakima Canutt

Posts : 8339
Join date : 2011-04-11

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  Yakima Canutt on Fri Nov 16, 2012 9:22 pm

TO WIT ... who was the punter who said... "A villain with a hat, and it's like that. I tied your moms to a mother-fucking train track- flat on her back, I gave her some crack. It's ten o'clock - DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR MOMS IS AT? At my house."
santa

Yakima Canutt

Posts : 8339
Join date : 2011-04-11

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  pinhedz on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:45 am

user wrote:... who was the punter who said... "A villain with a hat, and it's like that. I tied your moms to a mother-fucking train track- flat on her back, I gave her some crack. It's ten o'clock - DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR MOMS IS AT? At my house."
santa
I don't care if it was daddy-O or Hi-C. If either one crosses my path I'll pound him into road kill.

pinhedz
Schrödinger's Hepcat

Posts : 11694
Join date : 2011-04-11
Location : DC

http://www.balalaika.org/

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  senorita on Thu Nov 29, 2012 7:29 am

What's the frequency Kenneth?


Last edited by senorita panties on Sat Jan 05, 2013 11:12 am; edited 1 time in total

senorita

Posts : 362
Join date : 2012-07-11
Age : 19
Location : makgadikgadi pan

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  this and that on Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:05 pm

^ can't help joining the collective frenzy, it is great to be a parody

this and that

Posts : 316
Join date : 2012-10-29

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  pinhedz on Sun Dec 02, 2012 3:39 am

The people that really are Gangnam style are too cool to say it. Razz

pinhedz
Schrödinger's Hepcat

Posts : 11694
Join date : 2011-04-11
Location : DC

http://www.balalaika.org/

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  this and that on Sun Dec 02, 2012 4:20 am

they're not cool enough to say it and still be cool

this and that

Posts : 316
Join date : 2012-10-29

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  pinhedz on Sun Dec 02, 2012 4:39 am

soʎnʇ sol ʎ sǝıʇuɐd sıɯ wrote:they're not cool enough to say it and still be cool
To be so cool you can say it and still be cool--that would be cooler than Mingus. Cool


pinhedz
Schrödinger's Hepcat

Posts : 11694
Join date : 2011-04-11
Location : DC

http://www.balalaika.org/

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  Yakima Canutt on Sat Mar 22, 2014 4:14 am

there are more important things than being cool, like for instance being true to your school


Yakima Canutt

Posts : 8339
Join date : 2011-04-11

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  Yakima Canutt on Sat Apr 19, 2014 7:43 am

all the time i am asked what is the key to making an impression on the dance-floor and i say practice practice practice yam noodle practice



Yakima Canutt

Posts : 8339
Join date : 2011-04-11

Back to top Go down

Re: Final Judgment: can Wacky Dee dance?

Post  Sponsored content Today at 9:01 am


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum