ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Sun Jul 31, 2011 1:41 pm

We are about the witness the trial of the century (at least the town of Grand Marias considers it to be that). But it will be complicated, and we'll need to catch up on a few things before we get ahead of ourselves.

The trial commences at 10:00 am, but we're going to need to back up 6 hours in order to make sense of what happens next.

We last saw Bob in a micro-miniskirt that he got from Shakira, stumbling around on spike heels under the influence of a cocktail of prescription and non-prescription substances--none of which had been prescribed in any case. With his vacant eyes looking out from a face like a relief map, the smeared lipstick, runny mascara and matted blond wig were not becoming.

Making his way through the alley behind some municipal buildings, he had just enough presence of mind to realize he needed to be off the streets before the sun came up. He reckoned the gub'mint buildings would be unoccupied during the wee hours, and he might be able to find a change of clothes, so he was trying all the rear entrances.

Finally, he found an open door and got in. It was dark, but it seemed to be some sort of antechamber. By now the first rays of the sun were visible through the window, and Bob could make out a desk. Looking carefully at the name plate, Bob made out "His Honor the Honorable Judge Toussaint Charbonneau."

Just then Bob's foot hit something on the floor that was without a doubt a person (this was unexpected). Bob took a closer look and got a wiff of the person's breath (EW! tongue ) The man was dead to the world, but still dressed in his judge's robe and periwig.

There was an empty bottle on the desk and another on the floor. The light was growing stronger through the window, and Bob could now read the label:

Krooked Cod, 2011
Vin de bleuets-framboises

Bob was not enough of a wine connoisseur to judge whether or not 2011 was a good vintage, but he sure enough knew that the judge didn't just pick up that wine at the liquor store after the court session the night before. Bob knew that Krooked Cod could only be purchased from the Auk Island Winery in Twillingate, Newfoundland.

And whoever brought that wine down from Twillingate clearly must have done it with sinister purpose (Bob was recovering some of his mental faculties by this time).

But Bob was extremely tired. He grabbed the judge by his feet and pulled him over to the wardrobe with all the judge's robes on hangers, and rolled him under the hanging robes. He borrowed a robe, the judges shoes and periwig, and was transformed with a much more distinguished look. Something like Justice Taney (not too different from his Shakira impersonation, tho):



Then he sat down at the desk, folded his arms in front of him, dropped down his head and fell fast asleep.

It seemed he'd only caught 40 winks when there came a knock at the door. Bob sat up and straightened his wig. The sun was bright outside the window by now.

Knowing he was in Grand Marais, Bob intoned: "Entre!" (Grand Marais is supposedly bilingual, but to be unable to speak English is much more forgivable than to be unable to speak French. By now Bob's faculties were fully restored with remarkable acuity).

The bailiff entered and said: "Good morning your honor, the trial of the pervert foreigner is scheduled to commence ..." Then he stopped short, seeing a stranger at the desk. "I beg your pardon, your honor" he went on "I was expecting judge Charbonneau."

Bob, great BS-er that he's always been, didn't miss a beat:

"The times are a-changin', my boy, and the old judge couldn't handle the whole circuit no more, so it is I--The Honorable Judge Robert Allen Dillinger...I mean DeLanger--sent here to take up the slack."

This was a perfectly plausible explanation, so the bailiff said "Very good, your honor. The Court is ready to be called to order."

Bob said "I know how to do that, and I'm just the one to do it."

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Mon Aug 01, 2011 12:46 pm

Bob stepped into the courtroom and saw it was packed. Bob likes packed houses, so he felt very much in his element. The bailiff intoned: "hear ye, hear ye, the greater superior court of Cook County is now in session, the Honorable Robert Alain Delanger presiding!"

Bob was mightily amused, and felt like saying "Do you all know what I'm wearing under this robe?" But he restrained himself and just said "court's in session and here come de judge. What do we got today bailiff? A man who can't dance? I say give him 30 days with the boogaloo!"

The bailiff cleared his throat and said "Today we will hear the case of the plaintiff Mary Jane Magnusson vs the defendant, who calls himself Sven Arvid Sigvaardson. The defendent will please take the stand."

Bob thought "I could have said that--I used to watch Perry Mason." Bob was beginning to be annoyed by the bailiff's grandstanding. After all, who's show is this supposed to be?

Precinct took the stand, very convincingly disguised as a Minnesotan:



This was the same disguise that had been so effective when he made his escape from Naniboujou Lodge.

Bob asked "Waddidoo?"

The bailiff answered "The defendant stands charged with being a foreigner and making lewd propositions to a meter maid employed by the Duluth Parkettes during the conduct of her official duties."

Bob wanted to take charge of the proceedings, so he asked "What do you have to say for yourself, you foreign bib?

Precinct said "Say, da corn sure looks good, don't it? Too bad it's only $2.25 a bushel."

Bob said "This guy is as Minnesotan as they come. Who's trying to say he's a foreigner?"

Mary Jane wasn't even on the stand yet, but her indignation got the best of her:

-- He's a foreigner all right, I heard him talking foreign talk!

-- What did he say?

-- He said 'Got yourself sorted, luv? Fancy a cuddle?'

A collective gasp was audible in the courtroom, Grand Marais being a respectable community.

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:07 pm

Outside the courthouse, the pinhed is approaching. He sees a huge number of cars parked along the road for a long distance (but since this is Minnesota, there is no double parking--that would be inconsiderate).

The pinhed had attempted to disguise himself as the High Sheriff of Twillingate, but he was mostly limited to items he had with him (no Calgary hat), so he looks pretty much like he usually looks:



At the top of the courthouse steps he reads the sign on the door: «Vous êtes ici»

Wise words. Wherever you go in life--there you are.

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  felix on Mon Aug 01, 2011 9:31 pm

^ & ^^ & ^^^ & ^^^^

Very Happy lol! cheers

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  eddie on Mon Aug 01, 2011 9:54 pm

^


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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  Doc Watson on Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:16 am

It took a while , but now I see how this is progressing.

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  woo on Tue Aug 02, 2011 6:09 am

hahahahahahahaha...........outstanding!

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:12 am

Doc Watson wrote:It took a while , but now I see how this is progressing.
Progress on this thread bears a certain resemblance to progress in Washingon DC. geek

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:37 pm

As the pinhed stepped through the door, Bob saw him first:

-- Howdy, stranger, I see by your tin star that you are a lawman.

-- That is the case, your honor.

-- But I don’t see your sidekick. Matt Dillon had Chester and after that he had Festus, so where’s your sidekick?

I would appear that the pinhed had been blind-sided, but this was not the case, he had anticipated every contingency (or at least this one, if not every one).

As if on que, Felix stepped in from behind the pinhed, wearing a genuine Calgary hat, strumming and singing with that Ozark Mountain twang of his:

“Now, the saltwater cowboy is new you'll agree
It seems we've created a new kind of breed
With our boots and our hats and our talk about oil
We even talk Newfie in a west-Texas style”

“So, by the Lord dyin', by the thunderin' gee
How are you doin' you son-of-a-b?
You can't fool your old man by dressin' like that
Yure still just a Newfie in a Calgary hat.”

Pinhed had to swallow the embarrassment, seein’ as how Felix was giving him critical assistance at a critical time.

Bob’s fans love it when, on rare occasions, a broad grin spreads across his face, and this was one of those times:

-- “That’s what I’m talkin’ about” enthused Bob “say, what kind of instrument is that?”

-- “This, judge your honor sire, is a balalaika”

-- “Whered’ja get that thing?”

-- “I won it off a Doukhobor in a card game in Saskatchewan,” said Felix, with obvious pride.

-- “Well good on ya! I know it’s hard to get the best of those Doukhobors.”

It seemed they were forgetting about the pinhed and his important business. So the pinhed cleared his throat and said:

-- If I may introduce myself, I am Pince Nez, High Sheriff of Tuilinguet (he knew that in Duluth it would be pronounced “Toolingait,” but he wanted to get on the good side of the Grand Maraisiennes).

Then disaster struck. Unable to contain his disdain, Precinct blurted out:

-- Oh dear. I suppose that’s a feeble attempt to pronounce “Twillingate.”

Pinhedz was frantically gesturing to Precint to put a sock in it, but it was too late; Mary Jane Magnusson had jumped to her feet again, repeatedly pointing her finger and shouting:

-- Hear that? Hear that? He’s doing it again, he’s talking foreign talk!

Precinct pulled himself together and said:

-- Ja, by golly, I guess I committed a real fore paw dere, din’t I?

But the damage had been done. Because of his reckless blunder, the crowd had seen through Precint, and as the murmur in the hall grew to a roar, it appeared they might lynch Precint before the pinhed could save him.


Last edited by pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:03 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  precinct14 on Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:08 am

I feel violated. I only stumbled on this thread because it's maybe the first and last thing anyone has posted today. What am I supposed to have done to deserve this uncannily inaccurate speech portrayal? Chatted up a meter maid? Get me up to speed, here. You got got Bob's birth date wrong, by the way. Or is that the general idea? Pray continue.

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:42 pm

precinct14 wrote:I feel violated. I only stumbled on this thread because it's maybe the first and last thing anyone has posted today. What am I supposed to have done to deserve this uncannily inaccurate speech portrayal? Chatted up a meter maid? Get me up to speed, here. You got got Bob's birth date wrong, by the way. Or is that the general idea? Pray continue.
You got yourself into this pickle back in Episode I (if you missed Epidode I, I'm afraid it's gone without a trace). If you feel violated, just imagine how Woo must feel--every time I kill him off, the ATU ladies demand that I bring him back Shocked (and he'll be back PDQ in this episode, too).

My own memory of Episode I is a bit foggy because I spent most of it tasting wines in a series of Minnesota bars. But I do remember that after Bob was a no-show at Naniboujou Lodge--and Willie and the Bumblebees had to take his place--you very cleverly made a clean getaway from the Lodge, and you would have been home free but for the slip-up in Grand Marais.

In any case, since arguably I am partially responsible for your current predicament, I thought it only right that I get you out of it.

Which speech portrayal is inaccurate? Your Sven Sigvaardson speech or your John Dillinger speech? I thought your Sven-speak was spot on. Razz

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:59 pm

Relative to nothing ...


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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  woo on Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:05 pm

Precinct didn't know about Pinz' tale tall until now? To quote Buddy the Elf, "That's shocking." I'm not sure Woo can die.










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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  precinct14 on Thu Aug 04, 2011 5:42 pm

I saw the opening scenesets, but don't recall molesting meter maids. Why has it disappeared?

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:11 pm

Episode I was deleted along with the original ATU site and it's 80,000 posts.

As I said, my own memory of it is hazy now (I'm not even sure why the NET fans blamed you when Bob did not make his appearance at Naniboujou).

And I'm sure that your encounter with the meter maid in Grand Marais would not have even raised an eyebrow in a decadent country like Great Britain, but you have to behave yourself in Northern Minnesota (I think there is a valuable lesson here for all of us).

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:26 pm

Also, I'm almost certain that you are responsible for the unexpected eruption of the long dormant Mount Naniboujou volcano (even though you didn't actually make the nuclear explosive device--which was one of LaRue's physics projects).

And I remember that the deeds to the Naniboujou properties (which Shakira calls the "deets") ended up in the back of Willie Murphy's truck, which Tatiana stole to rescue Woo from the top of Mount Naniboujou. That means the "deets" are now parked right outside the courtroom, and you are still trying to get them. Shocked

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:33 pm

For reasons not entirely under my control, this "epilogue" seems to jump back and forth between being a prequel and being a sequel, depending on whether the pinhed is in a conscious state or not.

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  Nah Ville Sky Chick on Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:26 pm

pinhedz wrote:Episode I was deleted along with the original ATU site and it's 80,000 posts.

As I said, my own memory of it is hazy now (I'm not even sure why the NET fans blamed you when Bob did not make his appearance at Naniboujou).

And I'm sure that your encounter with the meter maid in Grand Marais would not have even raised an eyebrow in a decadent country like Great Britain, but you have to behave yourself in Northern Minnesota (I think there is a valuable lesson here for all of us).

I thought Bob missed Naniboujou because Precinct had kidnapped him and stolen all his clothes? Precinct then tried to pass himself off as Bob but the fans were having none of it.

Wasn't that how it went? Also there were depth chargers involved

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:44 pm

Yes, I think that's right; Bob was kidnapped by Precinct and Shakira (who kept taking her cloths off for some reason).

And Rue had those depth charges for the fishing trip at Maple Lake (this is illegal--they set off an underwater explosion and then all the stunned fish rise to the surface and get netted).

The casualties in the NET audience were unintended, but they shouldn't have been swimming out to LJs rig, where Rue and Twood had finally set the depth charges.

But I think my favorite recollection is how Willie Murphy electrified the audience with his version of "Watchtower," and the subsequent mellowing of the Bumblebees' set late into the night, while the storm raged outside and the lava flow came to a stop.

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:09 pm

I remember the road out of Naniboujou was cut off:


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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:10 pm

The NET fans couldn't find their cars in the morning:


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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:11 pm

And that beautiful purple lava (so sorry about LJ Crying or Very sad ):


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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:12 pm

I forget when this happened, but I'm sure it must have been in the movie:


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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:26 pm

And last but not least--Grand Marais' finest (and Precint's worst nightmare):



"Grand Marais, Minn. — It's about 11 p.m. and the woods are dark. The dashboard lights glow on the face of agent Joe Kempa as his eyes scan the darkness from behind the wheel of a big white and green SUV."

"Kempa is the guy in charge of northeast Minnesota's Border Patrol, based in Grand Marais. He's driving very slowly, bouncing along a pitted, untended road that runs along the Pigeon River near the international border with Canada."

" 'We've gone lights out,' Kempa said."

Foreigners beware affraid

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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

Post  pinhedz on Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:30 am

Which brings us back to the here and now-- vous êtes ici:


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Re: ATU--The Movie, EPISODE I (with epilogue part 1 and 2) -- and EPISODE II -- and EPISODE III -- and EPISODE IV

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